My Particular Brand of Teenage Angst.

I had a big day today of cleaning out my office/art/sewing room. Came across a few lost and forgotten things. One was a letter to my dad from his sister with some photos from his wedding. Particularly poignant as she’s since passed from breast cancer. Rang Dad and told him I had the photos.
Another thing I found is a note book with your typical teenage angst (terrible) poetry. Here’s one that particularly stuck in my head over the years (at least the first line or so). Silly me never dated it but I’d say I was around 18 when it was written. Here it is:

Thought

Sitting alone, watching the red clouds roll by,
In your computerised world and an electric fly.
The grass is green, the sky is pink,
I can see the horizon, my eyes won’t blink.
The vision is sucking into my head,
Twisting and turning, I’m turning red.
I close my eyes I cannot see.
This vision is crawling inside of me.
I’m full, I’m loaded, I cannot fire,
The electric fly is my desire.
I lie still in total blackness,
I feel nothing I’m totally weightless.
Floating on air, like the wind,
Slowly going- around- around the bend.
Colours attack me, they start to stare,
I feel scared, I cannot bear.
My name is lonely, I want to go,
I turn around and fall below.
My children speak, I cannot see them.
I have no children, now or then.
My mind is blank, I have no thought,
I see a lady being bought.
My eyes are open, yet they are closed,
I fall down deeper, cold are my toes.
I hit something, hard with a thud,
I am sitting alone in the mud.
Sitting alone, watching the red clouds roll by,
In your computerised world and an electric fly.

I seemed to like commas a lot back then. Typing it up just now, I can remember clearly composing it. The first two lines (which I think are the best) drifted into my head as I was falling asleep. The rest of it came to me that way, two by two.

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